Lordi - Killection

Lordi Killection cover
Lordi
Killection
AFM Records
2020
5
Lordi, a band unfortunate enough to be caught doing a whole band playback, during a festival in Russia, has been around since 1992, believe it or not, but didn’t really debut until a decade later and weren’t up to much, until they took part and won in 2006’s Eurovision contest with the now infamous “Hard Rock Hallelujah”.
 
Sony signed them up thinking they had hit the jackpot with a new KISS sort of success, only to boot them an album and disappointing sales later, but somehow the band has endured, moving to AFM and doing what they ever did, spewing out second rate AOR inspired GWAR clad metal, with mediocre vocals.
 
On this their tenth (!) proper release (disregarding compilations, promos etc.) they have come up with a fictional “best of” where the band assumes the identity/sound of many different bands in a faux, radio broadcast format… a novel and off the wall idea, the might have had some merit if the band had a good singer, my main beef with the band is that they try to be I dunno, Foreigner, with a guy that vocally is more Rob Zombie than Lou. Apparently the idea was born out of frustration, since the band had left over tracks that didn’t seem to fit any of their previous albums, so this twisted format allowed them to creatively incorporate a wide variety of songstyles without worrying to much about the album having a proper flow.
 
“Radio SCG 10” is a mock rock radio intro with the band mimicking a variety of bands (GnR, Ozzy, Judas Priest etc.) in a faux jingle format.
 
“Horror for Hire” sounds like badly executed, 80s Alice Cooper, but more plain, less interesting and more twisted… like Death SS (2000s) or Rob Zombie that’s what the band goes for on the psychotic, riff happy, Euro Metal Disco “Shake The Baby Silent” that, is good for some goofy, silly fun, but not really, much more.
 
No matter how much Putaansuu/Mr Lordi tries to soften his vocals, for the Paul Stanley/Jean Beauvoir co-penned “Like a Bee to the Honey” (a possible throw-away), he just doesn’t have the range to go into a proper falsetto harmony and even if he did, he’d still have to sing about dipping into a fruitjar, which must be some of the most toe curling lyric ever written in the history of humanity. While half of the chorus sounds Mega, that last line just fucks things up to the utmost extend. Not even Michael Monroe and his sax solo can save this trainwreck of a song and give it absolution, for its sins against lyricism.
 
“Apollyon” calls out to Abbadon, multiple time, a 70s flavored prog-rock tune covering the same territory that Ghost have mockingly gone before. Again, it wouldn’t have been bad, if it was sung by someone with a proper voice.
 
A short faux “phone in” where things go awry to the fictional radio station, “SCG10 The Last Hour” later is followed by a heavy, rather funky and murkily produced “Blow My Fuse”, which sounds like a worse version of a Gene Simmons KISS tune, think “God Of Thunder” although nowhere near as good.
 
“I Dug a Hole in the Yard for You”, despite being dodgier, sounds like something Meatloaf could have done or many of the 80s Desmond Child penned hits, at least the chorus… again think “Trash” era Alice Cooper, this time, with vocals that are not absolutely terrible, but would have benefited from some additional range and vocal agility.
 
“Zombimbo” (really ?) sounds like “Dynasty” era KISS – with the lead vocals being beyond dodgy – the subject matter clearly apparent and the vocal style, more like Joe Cocker (RIP) with laryngitis, than Paul Stanley.
 
“Up to No Good” is in the style of 80s AC crossed with any random hair metal band from the tailed of the era.
“SCG10 Demonic Semitones” is another faux radio banter piece, that pokes fun at the pseudo-satanism, that’s rampart in rock, before the very power poppy “Cutterfly”, which borrows a little from “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” among other things (like Aaa, Duran Duran and Talk Talk).
 
“Evil” sounds like a fair song, with a Metallica sounding riff and even some nice vocal melody ideas, but unfortunately not good vocals.
 
“Scream Demon” feels like something Ghost could have written, but in demo form, with even scrappier vocals and dumber lyrics. Still a decent idea for a melody there and some nice female harmonies.
 
Lastly, “SCG10 I Am Here” closes the album with another fake radio transmission during which the broadcaster presumably dies.
 
This strange Frankenstein of an album, from a band I never held in high regard, has some nice moments, but overall fails to thoroughly impress. If the band was to sell some of these melodies to others, some of those tunes could be viable… but as it stands, I couldn’t really be bothered.