Coral the Merknight vs. SEARANTULA - It Weaves a Web of Metal

Coral the Merknight vs. SEARANTULA It Weaves a Web of Metal cover
Coral the Merknight vs. SEARANTULA
It Weaves a Web of Metal
2017
I really don’t know what to make of this… really, it’s part orthodox heavy metal, bad taste comedy and over the top histrionics along with the very odd cover, or better yet, attempt at poking fun by doing a parody or very poor version of some “well known” songs…
 
After an intro “Disclaimer”“Videogames > Girlfriends” a pretty basic metal track with lyrics about not having enough time to look for a girlfriend because there are too many videogames to play… so yeah, there you have it… don’t expect any seriousness out of “these” guys or guy… it’s unclear! Mind ya, most of the original “songs” sound like songs “Stevie T” could come up with in under 5 seconds.
 
“500 + 500 = 1000 Miles” pokes fun at the Proclaimers one off hit, by starting off like theirs but with growl vocals and then being a half decent ballad that would have worked miracles for a pop/indie band… wtf!
 
“All This Walking is Making Me Thirsty” is a minute long interlude that makes little sense, but then again what does make sense on “this”?!
 
I don’t even want to bend my mind enough to figure out if “Tragedy” has an ultra-slowed down portion of a song by the same – but the lyrics are so nonsensical, that I thought, “f@ck it”!
 
“(Oh Great, Another) Origin Story” is another of those “interludes” this album features; an instrumental at about three minutes that explores some musicality, but that’s about it…
 
“ScarJo(Lene)” is probably a hymn to Scarlet Jo and as you might have guessed it has a gal that puts on a decent enough rendition of Jolene, over a garage metal rehearsal of the song… it sounds a right mess, but I’m guessing that somehow that was the intention all along – so mission accomplished.
 
Now “Ballad of the Broken Refrigerator” is probably something that would resonate with all of us and not just the hickeys… a comment for this hickey rock/metal extravagant ballad, is difficult to put into words so I won’t even try…
 
What’s even more weird is “Whip My Hair”; a weird take at Willow Smith’s 2010 “hit” (?) by the same name, probably inspired by and not really keeping really close to… not that it makes much of a different in this death rock take…
 
“Eduardo Manivino AKA Edward Winehands” had me scratching my head, but I hardly did care… even in its primitive state, it sounded better than half the “nu” stuff out there, with its start stop dynamics and melodic breaks.
 
“Under the Sea” is a deathrock cover of the track from Disney’s “Little Mermaid” and sounds as creepy as you’d expect it to.
 
Lastly, “Fish Outta Water” is a poignant couple of minute outro that brings closure or something…
 
I’m really on the fence about this release, it’s either so brilliant that I can’t perceive just how great it is, or just some guy mucking up and releasing it. While I’m hard pressed to choose “B”, I’ll give it the benefit of doubt and no grade, just to humor the(se) guy(s)…